Nurturing & Freedom
Parenthood seems to involve two things, among others. One is leadership and nurturance: sharing wisdom, giving direction, setting boundaries, providing advice etc. The other is facilitating discovery and providing opportunity for freedom so that a child can benefit from real experience. Each of these is important and so is the way they are applied. It depends on the readiness of the child and whether the experience is helpful etc.
When either of these is applied in a distorted way then there are problems. An overly strict style of parenting, where forms and standards are enforced without freedom, can lead to rebellion or a stifled child who may be square or just an imitator of their parents, without their own convictions or sense of ownership or real understanding borne from experience.
On the other hand, when there is freedom without leadership then the child is left to work the world out by themselves without helpful guidance and protection. They can end up being exploited by others, stunted, deceived and damaged.
These two applications of parenthood mirror two key challenges that the child will encounter in adult life. That is, every adult has daily encounters which require them to act responsibly in a framework of freedom and restraint. Accordingly, when the duties of parenthood are applied in a balanced way, then it is good preparation for the freedom and restraint that the child will experience in adult life. An adult needs to live in a way in which they continue to receive wisdom, advice and instruction and to live within boundaries set for them. The child moves from having freedom made available to them by parents to having it made available to them by others. When they grow up they need to discern for themselves where the boundaries are and how to act within that freedom. Wise parents will prepare them for this.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Have you ever considered adding more videos to your blog posts to keep the readers more entertained? I mean I just read through the entire article of yours and it was quite good but since I’m more of a visual learner,I found that to be more helpful well let me know how it turns out. This is good…thanks for sharing